The Wall

I have decided to write the phD entrance exam for Kyoto University. By all means it seems impossible. I will be expected to be fluent in Japanese and all subjects of the research and I have less than 1 year to do this.

Sometimes I wish my situation can be better, but compare to other people mine is already much better. I guess I should be thankful. There are too many distractions in the lab. Equipment problems, people problems and school management problems. I feel overwhelmed over time, finding myself dragging my feet when I go to school.

I have developed a bad set of habits. I sleep late (12) wake up late (9) and waste a lot of time idling and surfing no matter where I am. I know I am weak, but I also have trouble channeling my strength.

I am struggling to keep my relationship with God, yet longing for a relationship with a person, whom I cannot find in my surrounding. I feel lonely and isolated. Everybody expects a lot of me, and I am afraid to fail to reach their expectations.

One month to go until　Ｉ　ｒｅｔｕｒｎ　ｔｏ　Ｃａｎａｄａ　ｆｏｒ　ａ　ｂｒｅａｋ．　Ｈｏｗ　ｆａｒ　ｃａｎ　Ｉ　ｇｏ？　Ｗｉｌｌ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｍｅ　Ｇｏｄ？