5 AM

All the subconscious frustration and worries rushed to my head at 5 AM in the morning. It's probably because I was speaking to an old friend about relationship problems that she's been having. I felt so disappointed about men in general and how they treat the ones they love (or do they really love them?) I lost sleep over it.

I was dreaming about feeding the cats. Then all of the sudden, this cat's face turned into an arrogant Japanese male face, much similar to the faces of those school high administration that I had dealt with during the past few months. It was distasteful to see that combed-back hair, and narrow eyes and the condescending look. The face was planted on to a cat's neck, staring down at me. I woke up, tossing and turning from side to side, couldn't fall asleep anymore.

It's not that I dislike Japanese males, or all males, but I've seen so much negativity in them, sometimes I wish I am not part of the gender. My roommate just told me that in Kagawa lab (Kagawa-sensei, head of foreign student committee) another student went crazy. This student suffered insomnia for the past few years and he flipped when someone talked on the cellphone inside the student room. My roommate was plenty scared, having to sit with him and the other crazy student. Then there's the problem student in my own lab. The professor visited the lab yesterday to drop off the cat cage and for the 5 minutes she was here, she had an argument with him once again. She had asked me to push him to clean up the mess he left behind in the 415 room. I might just do it tomorrow, but in a way that we would clean it up together. Also yesterday I realized that he had purchased yet another redundant lab equipment.

It's beginning to make more sense to me why he's purchasing all these extra equipments. He is trying to separate his experiments from the others (which is impossible) because simply he thinks people are out to get him, out to destroy his data. Oh by the way he's gotten very very fat. I prayed for him, and for everyone I could think of. Today's the last day of the year. I should end this on a good note.