The Ring & the Broken Computer

It was rather a short day of studying yesterday. As usual I was the first one to arrive at the student room. Looks like Ohgai-san overslept once again this morning. Matsubara-san these days do not come until much later.

At around 11am or so, Waki-sensei came into the room for a brief chat about the Korean student's paper that was recently rejected and we devised a plan on how to advise him from this point on. The Korean PhD student tends to go the extreme in thoughts. He was even suspecting if the professor held any information back from him on this paper. It took me an hour 2 days ago to dispel his doubts and finally get him back on the positive track.

We also talked about my Thursday's visit in Tokyo University. She said she was glad that everything is going well. I took the chance to tell her my plan for the next few years and also to explain once again why I came to Japan. I told her that degree doesn't really concern me all that much, as long as I am able to make a very useful solar cell that everybody in the world can use. She said, "It's be a waste if you don't get a degree" I told her that most likely I will return to Canada, find a unrelated job with lots of free time after work so I can spend it with my family and do things that God calls me to do. Work will never be a significant part of my life.

She lifted her head and stared into the void, contemplating. I could see the mixed feelings poured from her heart.

"I think you are right. That should be the right way to live your life", she said.

We've been through so much already this year, at some points during this period, she must have had a hard time dealing with these priorities. Her new born child is still in and out of the hospital. Sometimes she barely had any chance to see him. I wept and prayed for her family.

She gave me another reality check on the entrance procedure into Tokyo University PhD program. She said she had always been good at writing exams, but I must be prepared to enter as a research student if things don't turn out well. She's known students to have tried 4 or 5 times without success. If I am able to continue my research with those facilities, it won't even matter if I am not a student in that university at all. Professor Uchida already gave me his word on the availability of the facilities even if I am not a student there.

In the afternoon, the Chinese student came to me for counsel. He wanted to switch his research field to solar cell because no one will be able to help him after April in his field. I, too, gave him a hard reality check. I told him the reasons why I am leaving this lab and he has many years to go after my departure. I can help him while I am here, after that he will be on his own for 3 or 4 more years. It sent him into some deep thinking. He went home early that day.

At night, Matsubara-san's computer broke down, again. I ran a few test and realized that the video driver was buggy. Did another test and fixed the problem. He watched every step of the procedure. He was beyond words when the computer was fixed.

"Arigatou!", He said. This was the first time he thanked me. He placed his hand on my arm and pressed down to show his sincerity. I was a bit shocked to see this kind of reaction, because he had never really thanked me in any instance, whether it be me giving him bananas, mikans, or helping him with thngs.

Also today, words from friends is that Yurie has a boyfriend right now. I am not sure of the reliability of this information. I do remember that she wears a ring on her finger and a long time ago I've made peace with that. The boundaries between us will limit us to be just friends until we have entered that stage of life where we can thinking about dating.

The possibility of her having a boyfriend calmed my wondering heart. My heart has been dancing with joy and flying here and there for the past few months. It felt as if my heard has been anchored down and I felt more calm and peaceful. My time is not now. After these few weeks, I realize my life does not allow me to be in a relationship. I don't have the attention, time nor money to have another person in my life. This is perhaps for the best.

I believe one day, as our friendship matures, she will tell me about the ring and many other things. As for now, I will let this be and leave it to God.