I have been indecisive about my future education in Japan for the past few months. The trip seems impossible financially and my grades are not good enough to get any scholarships. I don't have enough savings, having to have just paid off my university student loan. The Tokyo Tech office has requested me to pay for my entrance fee through the professor. She thought I could wire her the the money. I asked if I could send her a cheque since it doesn't cost neither of us any processing fee. She replied.
I thought I would promise to pay her back whether I go or not. I supposed I could've answered in an ambiguous way. Yet, her offer really pushed me to make a decision. Why did I not to make a decision? Is it because I was afraid? afraid to fail? I had once reflected on a similar situation, "I had always been successful by doing things I am guaranteed to succeed, and never attempt things I might fail." There shall be no lukewarm water.
It's countdown to Japan now. School starts in 153 days, whether I'm ready or not.
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